Getting Your Kids To Golf Is Fun!

Hello folks. As you know us crusty old folks at Cheam Golf don’t have any kids we can teach golf because they’re all grown up. However, I did have the pleasure of taking out my grandson yesterday and I didn’t realize taking a kid out to golf could be so fun.

I probably thought it would be hard because when my dad took me out golfing for the first time he lost patience and we went home. I didn’t find passion for golfing until he passed away and I inherited his golf clubs.

I recommend that next time you want to take a kid out for an activity, whether you’re baby sitting or taking care of the grand kids, you should go golfing. But please remember this advice and don’t get impatient like my dad did. There’s a good chance the kid will suck at the sport so you have to teach them and take your time. But after you will feel great, especially if you can instill in them a respect for the sport.

So I hope this will get more kids golfing. They won’t do it on their own, and they need a good teacher, so have fun with it! If you want to read more check out my story about a golf ball!

My Visit to Hamilton Ontario: A Story of Wonder and Awe

flying to hamilton

As an old man it might surprise you to hear that this year was my first time ever visiting Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Recently I shared a poem about Hamilton golf but I decided to write that blog post I’ve been thinking of and tell you all about my trip. If you’ve been to Hamilton, then you probably understand why I’ve never been there before. There’s not much to look at and it’s rather industrial. Lot’s of tow trucks and buses driving around, not very many pretty ladies. So let’s start from the beginning…

When I arrived I was shocked at how right my buddy who warned me had been. He warned me that I would be disappointed by the city and wouldn’t find it very attractive. Boy, was he right! On the first day we tried out a few different golf courses and they were fine but nothing spectacular. At least they were worth the trip over there. But the real reason I went was to visit my buddy Jon who had made a fortune investing recently. More on that later.

To get things rolling, here’s a list of four things I did in Hamilton that night that I’ll always live to regret:

  1. Drank way too much bourbon.
  2. Slept with a lady who I can’t remember her name.
  3. Ate too much greasy food.
  4. Staid at a hotel that was too expensive.

Well, I guess it could have been worse. On day two we tried to hit as many golf courses as we could until we realized we had already tried them all. We did our favorite one again and that was the funnest time I had. Jon wouldn’t stop talking about his investments though. He’s a retired tow truck driver and he knows the towing industry like the back of his nether parts. Since he knows the towing industry so well, he decided to try his luck at investing in some old towing companies. Overall, he’s been quite successful. He invested most of his life’s savings. He didn’t get the kind of returns those lucky 17th century investors in the Dutch East India Company did but he’s more than doubled his money so far and still hasn’t pulled out. Essentially these towing companies use his money to upgrade their trucks, purchase professional marketing and so on and as they grow so does his returns because he now owns shares in the companies. I was inspired and did a small investment myself.

tow truck

On the 3rd day we decided to keep low key and relax in the hotel lounge. Jon and I caught up on childhood memories of traveling across Canada on road trips and whatnot, and it’s safe to say we had a really great time.

A Story of Wonder and Awe in Hamilton, ON? More like an Investment Opportunity with Tow Truck Businesses!

In case you haven’t realized yet, I just called this a story of wonder and awe to be funny. It’s quite hard to have a story of such sort in a place like Hamilton but I tried. It wasn’t a Never Ending Story but it was a good time that I would call special and I’ll never forget it!

Well, that was the gist of my trip to Hamilton and I hope you enjoyed. If anything, I hope you got inspired to invest in some of your local tow truck businesses. I’m quite excited to see what my gains will be! Bye for now.

A Poem About Golfing in Hamilton Ontario

ontario flag

Here’s a poem I wrote while golfing in Hamilton Ontario the other week. I was going to make a blog post here on about it but instead I just decided to post the poem I wrote. Most of my friends don’t even know I like to write poetry, but they will now. Just a warning, though, I maintain my odd sense of humor when I write poetry to bear with me here. Enjoy!

Hamilton, ON, CA Golfing

On a cold, sunny day

While the breeze blows

I park near the bay

With my golfing bros

We unload the clubs

Betting who will win

My best bro shrugs

Takes a shot of gin

Local Hamilton gin

Sweet to the toungue

I know I’m gonna win

Or I’m pulling out my gun

Hamilton golfing

Is the life for me

Take me to Ontario

To golf in the breeze

Marching to the Beat


Today on the porch I was doing some thinking and I began to reflect on the past a lot. Now I’m fairly old, at least old enough to get wrinkles in the way when I shave, and I began to remember times in life when I was marching to the beat. Then I compared those moments to times when I was marching off the path. Then I had a revelation and realized that in the big picture I was always walking on the right path, marching to the beat even when I thought I was off the path at the time. Sometimes we arrive at our destination in ways we never expected. Sometimes doing something out of curiosity even when you believe it’s wrong can, in a strange miraculous way, guide you to a shortcut along your journey, so that you may do the things you’ve placed in your heart to do and a whole lot more in your lifetime.

And here was my great takeaway point.

Death is my closest companion. I might die tomorrow, so she remind’s me I must live life to the fullest. I might die tomorrow, yet I act as though I have faith that I might wake up tomorrow. I do my dishes. I laugh.

Those were my thoughts today. I just wanted to share them. There’s a lot of other cool posts here that I just wanted to share, too. For example, I not too long ago wrote a funny true story about how me and my buddies got our golf cart towed in Halifax. Check it out if you want to read more.

Golfing in Halifax, Got Our Golf Cart Towed Away


Hello again, dear readers. As you should know by now, us old golfers have strange humors and we laugh at things that perhaps we shouldn’t. We just got back from a golfing trip in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada and yet again we have a funny story to share with you. I was going a bit hard on the brandy at the time but I’ll try to remember enough details to make this story as interesting as possible. Golfing in Halifax isn’t as fun as some of the courses here in British Columbia but it’s good to try new courses every once in a while.

You’re not supposed to drive a golf cart while under the influence of brandy, but us old guys don’t know better. This story all starts with renting a car after getting out of the airport. We saw four tow trucks within the first hour of being in Halifax and thought nothing of it at the time, but those car towing trucks were really messages from the divine source giving us omens and warnings about our comical fate that evening. The tow truck became the symbol for our whole trip, and you’ll laugh when you learn why, but hopefully not as hard as we laughed.

Just after a 20 minutes of driving our rental car we had a malfunction in the engine. The car was making some weird noises but we ignored it. Two hours later we realized we should have been more prudent when the car suddenly stalled. It wasn’t our fault but we felt responsible and so we paid for a tow truck Halifax service to get the car back to the rental company and they apologized and set us up with a nicer car that they promised wouldn’t break down on us.

It wouldn’t be till afternoon that we finally reached our first golf course. We began our time there being the goofy old men we love to be and had a bit of fun with the golf carts. We didn’t expect that we would have to ever consider getting more towing services again that day but after one too many shots of brandy I accidently drove my golf cart into a bush and it got stuck in a ditch. I felt so embarrassed but even the people that worked there were laughing and one of them even gave me a high five for my mistake. I promised to pay for the damages and lo and behold had to pay for the tow truck service that came to haul the cart out of the ditch. It turned out there wasn’t much damage but I still dropped nearly $400 in total for my mistake.


When the tow truck driver showed up he smiled so hard because it was the same guy who had towed our rental car only a few hours before. He wasn’t surprised though because he had sensed that we were trouble makers. Fortunately we never had to see that guy again during our trip but we kind of wanted to offer him a dinner on us for his help. He was by far the nicest tow truck driver I had ever met and perhaps the nicest guy we met throughout our whole trip in Halifax.

So now to recap here’s a list of our daredevilry in Halifax:

  1. The divine source was trying to warn us with tow truck omens.
  2. Our rental car stalled on the roadside and we needed towing assistance.
  3. We started golfing at noon with a buzz already building.
  4. I crashed my golf cart into a bush and had to pay for the damages.
  5. Then, I got one of the best hand shakes of my life when the friendly tow truck driver helped us for the second time within a few hours.
  6. Lastly, we hit up 2 more golf courses that day, but I wasn’t allowed to drive the golf cart anymore, of course.

So there we have it–yet another fun story from these old Cheam golfers. If you’re new to our blog and want to keep reading, check out our homepage:

Thanks for visiting and we’ll see you next time!

A Poem About Golfing in Victoria BC


When I go golfing with the boys in Victoria BC every few years, we like to check out all the best golf courses. Over at Cedar Hill Golf Course is my favorite, but I like to cruise them all. You know my buddy once told me a poem about golfing in Victoria BC.

“Learning how to golf is free and breezy

To play is not cheap, see

On the greens of Victoria BC

We cruise to make it look easy”

Our Cheam team loves going to the golf courses on Vancouver Island and showing those whippersnappers what real golf’s about. We golf long into the afternoon staring at the marvelous skyline of the Pacific Northwest. We’re too crusty and cranky to fumble on those social networks, being near-to-senile and all, but we’re hoping that this blog will motivate us old blokes to share our experience and keep our traditions of going to for some golf to visit friends and have fun in Victoria every three years. Steve sometimes comes with us but we’re going to drag him there in a bed if we have to. Maggie’s been dying to see him and so has Hal.

For the good friends who read our blog–thank you! Catch us golfing there in Victoria soon with the boys.

Golfing Naked in the Backyard Should Be Legal

As you know us old geezers at Cheam Golf like to think we’re funny and here is yet another parody post.

The other day I was practicing my golf swings with a foam ball in my living room and I started to get very hot so I got naked. Now truly someone as old as me isn’t nice to look at in this state, but still after practicing another dozen swings, hitting my foam golf ball against a framed picture of my wife on the wall, I started to get too hot again so without thinking I went out into the backyard. It only took a few moments for me to remember that I was naked and thank God no one saw me, or at least I think no one saw me. But if I had been reported by a neighbor the consequences might have been dire.

That evening I began to think and dream about a utopia where old men like me could practice their golf swings naked anywhere they please. Imagine it…

  1. In McDonald’s parking lots.
  2. Grocery store aisles.
  3. The middle of highways.
  4. Inside fancy restaurants.

These are all places I’d love to practice my art-form in the comfort of my own skin. This to me would be a dream come true and I would do it every day. Ah, maybe in the future this utopia will actually come true!

The Importance of Cleaning Your Residential Windows

I don’t want this to be a talk about Western etiquette. I just want to talk about this because I lived most of my life never caring if my windows were cleaned until a friend’s mom put me in my place. Trust me, after waking up to find out that your guest’s 80-year-old mom woke up at 5 AM to clean all your windows because they were disgusting will make you see things differently, too!

Growing up as a single young man I had always worked hard enough to be able to have a lot of windows I could call my own, but I never actually had any glass cleaner in my house for almost ten years straight at one point. I didn’t know the first thing about what was the best window cleaner formula or the best window cleaning company in British Columbia before, but now my windows never stay a whit filthy for more than a few hours and I can tell you exactly what is the best best window washing solution and the best local window washing business because I’m somewhat of a self-trained expert.

I even dry my own windows to perfection with passed down techniques from the first Canadian pioneers. Seriously!

Window Cleaning Supplies

But now you should know that if you are anything like I used to be that cleaning windows is one of the secrets to happiness. That’s because getting your life in order is the key to happiness. When everything is going the way you don’t want it to, the gates of Hell open. That’s why I keep my windows clean so I can get a good view of it happening to other people who don’t have things in order. Cleaning your windows often is just one of the many habits you will need to build to reach your full potential. You might argue that it takes a lot of time to clean all your windows and that’s true, but after you have the habit of keeping them clean it’s almost like wiping down the sink after cleaning dishes–as soon as a little speck of filth shows up you wipe it away. And so in other words your windows never have a chance to get dirty. The filth never accumulates.

When I had my farm in Saanich, a place on Vancouver Island, I would always call up Clarity Windows Ltd for window cleaning Victoria BC services. They’re the best out there, but over here in Cheam I actually get my son to do it. He does it full time for another window cleaning company, actually only started the job a year ago because I had ranted about how important cleaning windows is, and so I got kind of lucky.

The Importance of Window Cleaning

We already talked about how building a good habit is always good. It also starts you on a path of building more good habits. This happens until your life is in order. But there are other reasons why you should call your local window washing company for services right now. Keeping your windows clean motivates the neighbors to do the same, and so the less and less other houses on your street are cleaning their windows the less motivation your neighborhood will have to clean their windows. That is why in richer areas with a lot of the larger houses having themselves in order like to keep their windows spotless, all the other smaller houses somehow make the time to do it and a kind of domino effect takes place. So after you get professional window cleaning services you should get a bunch of business cards from the company and hand them out to everyone who lives within sight of your freshly cleaned windows. By doing this you will also be raising the value of your neighborhood and the subconscious results will be long-term and spectacle.

Thank you for reading and if you’re new don’t forget to check out our full blogroll on the homepage.

What to Do When it’s too Cold to Golf?

cold golf

I should warn you this post is a bit of a comedy. I thought about writing this when I invited my friend from visiting from Winnipeg to come golfing this morning and he said, but it’s winter and it’s too cold!” I laughed so hard through the phone that you could still call it laughing in his face. Then, he made things worse by asking the ridiculous question, “What to do in Cheam when it’s too cold to golf?”

My answer came hard and it came fast in two words… “Man up!”

Seriously, bring a scarf or something. Sure, when it’s windy and rainy or snowing then you could find something else to do like:

  1. Go to the driving range.
  2. Watch sports at the pub.
  3. Do online shopping for rain jackets.

But when there’s no wind, no rain and you’re not golfing just because it’s cold, then I’d argue you’ve no place calling yourself a real golfer! That’s just my funny way of looking at it. My friend decided to man up after all and we’ll be heading out to swing the old golf club in a few hours. If my friend doesn’t freeze to death, maybe I’ll have an interview with him after. I think he’s a good personality and has a good story that deserves a post on this blog, for a lot of the usual who hang out here don’t know him too well yet.

Well, hope this advice helps. Next time someone says no to golf because it’s too cold, throw a scarf at him and tell them to man up!

A Story About a Golf Ball


For people who don’t golf, it might be hard to believe that some golf balls can be worth over $200. And I’m not just talking about golf balls signed by famous golfers. There’s a science to the weight and surface of a golf ball, and really high quality ones will perform a lot better that cheap ones. The performance is very noticeable to the eye and you can feel it and hear it when you hit it.

That’s why golf balls have dimples on them. It helps with the way it flies through the air. Also, a good quality golf ball will bounce on the grass and roll longer, making putting for the hole easier. After using the same model of golf ball for a long time, you can tell and have to adjust when a new model is introduced to your kit.

Here’s a good video about the science behind golf ball design:

Golf Science

I sometimes go in the woods behind my local golf coarse and hunt for lost golf balls because after collecting a lot of them you got a small fortune on your hands. I don’t pay for the good quality ones, but I’ve found a lot of them and they’re so fun to use, until you lose them yourself.

I have a short story about how I found a golf ball in the woods with a signature on it. The signature was too weathered away to tell who it belonged to but I knew the golf balls was at least worth $70 because of the model and make. I tried using it on the course and lost it in a lake on my first hit. There went all my good luck, but I didn’t complain. The only reason why I lost the ball in the lake is because I wasn’t used to using such a good quality golf ball and I overshot.

So if you ever find a rare golf ball, take some practice hits with it before you lose yours, too. Unless, of course, you want to have a good laugh like I did.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more from Cheam Golf!